Official Site Of Evil Thoughts And Badly Written Fiction By A Guy Who Should Be A Best Selling Freaky
Author & Radical Poet
Instead Of Being A Creepy Dude From Sunny Old England!
Popular Douche Bags And Dregs Versus Outcasts With A Serious Attitude Problem
A Call To Destiny But Not In The Way You Know
Possible Romance - Check Back When The Second Book Is Released
An Adventure For Kidz That Is Alternative To The Mainstream
It Can Only Be –
ALIENS! ALIENS! ALIENS!:
CHRONICLES OF THE SEVENTH REIGN
The first book in a series of seven chronicling the adventures of three film buffs and three feisty females as they battle the forces of darkness in a multidimensional event known as the Zegirodath.
THE SECRET TO UNSOPHISTICATED THINKING:
THE LOVE MISERY CYCLE - BOOK ONE
YES - THERE MIGHT BE SOME ERRORS IN THE FINAL PRODUCT - IT'S INTENTIONAL SINCE I AM THE MASTER OF THE ART OF BEING PROFESSIONAL WITHOUT BEING PROFESSIONAL!
Kassir – is a low level self-published author trying to break into the film industry as a screenwriter and secretly looking for a reason to live.
Hashish – Kassir’s cousin – is looking for a new woman to mend his broken heart.
Violet Rose – is a young mom looking to start a new life while struggling to deal with the possibility her daughter might be dying.
Alisha Rose – is a bright eight year old girl suffering from a mystery illness that hits her at odd times.
The Screaming Darkness – BUY THE BOOK AND FIND OUT!
SAFDAR MUTTAQI’S – THE SECRET TO UNSOPHISTICATED THINKING – Is a story about – Hope – Love – Death – and the endless level of stupidity that men seem to display in order to make sense of everyday shit – including the ultimate mystery that is – WOMAN!
It is the first book in Safdar Muttaqi’s Alternative Rom-Com saga – THE LOVE MISERY CYCLE.
FOREVER DRIFTING THROUGH THE GREAT RIVER OF THE SKY:
THE LOVE MISERY CYCLE - BOOK TWO
What happens when you get a raven haired bombshell clashing swords with a miserable bastard who constantly has the suicide option open on the table?
You get – SAFDAR MUTTAQI’S – FOREVER DRIFTING THROUGH THE GREAT RIVER OF THE SKY.
The second installment in Safdar Muttaqi’s Alternative Rom-Com saga –
THE LOVE MISERY CYCLE.
This time round – Kassir is on a mission to win the heart and soul of a woman who takes shit from nobody!
Will he succeed by being not so charming and over the top poetic?
Or will he crash and burn like all the hopeless romantics that have come before him?
BUY THE BOOK AND FIND OUT!
Terrible Poetry (Love – Heartbreak – And All That Tortured Shit)
An Artist With An Eye For The Dead
Three Tales Of Something Stupid
The Worst Scene Of Two People Fucking Ever To Be Featured In A Short Story
(The Guy Who Writes This Stuff Is Such A Loser – Even The Bed Sheets Refuse To Have Sex With Him!)
It Can Only Be –
I LACK EVERYTHING EXCEPT BAD THOUGHTS
A Collection Of Badly Written Poetry And Fiction
Designed To Make You Tear Out Your Eyes
And Curse My Name Until The End Of Time
FEELING THE NUT-SACK LOVE!
THIS DUDE ROCKS!
SEX - VIOLENCE - BAD LANGUAGE - SERIOUSLY FUCKED UP SHIT - THIS IS FICTION WITH DOUBLE ATTITUDE!
Ultra 'Shocking' Beaumont,
VIDEO SUCK THIS!
ALL STYLE AND NO SUBSTANCE - THIS GUY'S FICTION WILL KICK YOUR FUCKING TEETH IN - YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED...
Alice Reel (lead vocalist),
DAMN MY FUCKING MIND
A BIG STEAMING PILE OF CRUD PANCAKES - MAKES YOU WONDER WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO THE WESTERN WORLD!
Dr. I-Shit-My-Pants-Constantly (author of),
HOW TO BE A DECENT FELLOW AND AN ASS KISSING MEMBER OF THE SHEEP SOCIETY
NO PROFILE NEEDED...
Loved By Few
Hated By Many
Understood By None
That's right folks - I am the Dark Romantic Of The Night.
Suicidal By Spirit
Homicidal By Nature
Genocidal By Mood
I am the 7th Lord Of Chaos and the only guy on the planet who writes Unsophisticated Fiction For Those Who Don't Belong.
WELCOME TO MY WORLD....
Feel Free To Look Around And Be Miserable!
1) I don’t do interviews. The only time I will ever consider doing an interview is when I need to set the record straight.
2) I rarely do live poetry readings. However if I’m in the mood I will perform at Gothic Weddings, Gothic Funerals, Gothic Birthday parties, Gothic Bar Mitzvahs, Gothic Hen Nights, Halloween parties and pretty much any other Gothic event. As long as I get some cake at the end of the gig – I’ll be happy.
3) Yes – my nails are pretty long and beautiful for a guy.
4) Yes – it’s true – I hang around in graveyards spouting bad poetry.
5) It's also true that I am a thong wearing man frog – but only on the weekends.
6) Yes – I have the smallest dick in the world. It’s so small – even if you had a magnifying glass you wouldn’t be able to find it.
7) Yes – my hair is real.
SAF'S BACK STORY VAULT...
What’s a bad idea?
I’m not really sure.
Perhaps visiting a cemetery at night and on Halloween.
Definitely a bad idea.
I should have listened to my friends but being the fool I am - I stepped into the graveyard never to step out again.
Looks like the joke was on me after all.
At least it started out as a joke but turned into something a little more serious.
Very serious – actually.
No harm was really done.
But I’m jumping the gun and we don’t have much time for me to tell you the story from the beginning.
So - it was Halloween night and I was in the graveyard.
My task to find an old pumpkin under the dead tree and declare myself the Halloween King in a loud voice.
I found it and said the words.
Something came out of the shadows and took me into the darkness.
The next day I returned slightly different.
Light-headed you might say.
That was a year ago.
And here we are now underneath a beautiful full moon and on another Halloween night.
Still - there is an upside to this tale.
I’m no longer a slacker and I don’t have any responsibilities except for one.
Comes with the territory when you are dead.
I’m the night watchman and now that I think about it - I was born to be dead and so were you my little friend.
Trick or treat!
Once there was a box.
A box with a unique pattern on it.
Then there was a guy.
A semi decent fellow with a reasonable dress sense.
He wasn’t the most handsome guy in the world but then again he wouldn't consider himself ugly either.
One day after another lonely night of watching television - getting fat - and jacking off - he came downstairs and found the mysterious object sitting on his coffee table.
Cool, he thought, as he rushed over to study the box.
On top of the lid there was a small card with a single word written on it – ‘OPEN.’
So he did.
The box jumped up and bit his face off.
Curiosity – it’s a wonderful thing…
The room was a mess.
David knew it but that didn’t bother him.
As long as he had the socks – it didn’t matter.
He was on top of the world.
The only thing that bothered him was the smell.
Similar to a hundred rotting eggs - but that was the test.
And he had conquered it.
I’ve been sitting here for the past fifteen minutes and not once have I given into the smell. Ha-ha! Victory is mine!
Or so he thought.
He felt something stir inside his stomach.
He started to throw up.
“Shit!” he cried - as he keeled over dead.
Looks like the smell got to him after all…
REFLECTIONS OF A FRAGMENT
Room - Small
Nice wallpaper - Nothing fancy
Air - Cool
Supermarket - Not many people
Target sighted - Bread section
We stand - Staring
Draw - Same time
People - watching
Into the night - I go
He didn’t buy anything - Neither Did I - Come to think of it
Confrontation - Park
Howling Sirens - Somewhere in the background
Draw - Again
Turn to leave - Now surrounded
Been dead before
Tonight - Will I die again?
Guns - Lots Of Guns - Oh My!
A heavy shower of bullets
© 2016 Safdar Muttaqi